


Carbon D(a)iSuga

by cazoo



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: "Comedy", Bad Pick-Up Lines, Bad Puns, Chemistry, Comedy, M/M, One Shot, Pick-Up Lines, Please Kill Me, Puns & Word Play, Satire, Short, Short One Shot, Stalker, Sweet, and questionably, kms, lowkey, scientists - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-05
Updated: 2017-03-05
Packaged: 2018-09-28 09:30:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10085909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cazoo/pseuds/cazoo
Summary: basically a bunch a puns... and comedy-ish? I guess...what do you do with a horrible writer with an awful sense of humor?you barium.





	

Somehow, Suga had become a scientist after graduating college.

It wasn’t like he ever particularly wanted to be one. He kinda just did. All through his grade school years, he had dreamed of becoming a professional volleyball player, but during high school, he realized that his dream probably wasn’t going to come true. 

He went into college not knowing what exactly he wanted to major in or even what to study. He ended up in quite a lot of classes with a guy he thought was pretty hot. Of course, Suga didn’t have to courage to say anything to him, but he did do this studying (arhm, stalking) and found out more about him. I mean, if you see something you like but you can’t afford, why not just admire from afar?

The next year they “by chance” were put into many of the same classes, although he never turned to the back and noticed poor little Suga, Suga was still happy to stare at the back of his hair and noticing every time he did something different to it. Stalkerish? Yes. Creepy? Just maybe borderline. 

And they “miraculously” ended up in the same classes for the next two years of college and after they graduated, _somehow_ ended up working at the same company and in the same branch and became lab partners. It wasn’t like Suga had anything to do with all this. Not at all. 

Whew. Who knew that such small odds could actually happen? 

When Suga wakes up this morning, he tells himself that it’ll be different today...just like he’s been telling himself everyday since he’s met the guy and it’s been 6 years now. He sighs all through his daily routines and through his breakfast and on the car driving to work.

As he shrugs on his lab coat, he nods a hello to his co workers and isolates himself in his lab that he shares with his partner. 

“Suga! Are you here already?” He turns as he hears his partner enter the lab.

“Uh, ye-yeah, Daichi,” Suga grins uneasily, scratching the back of his head. He hates himself that even after being a stalker for six years, he still can’t even have a normal conversation with him. 

“Aren’t you the early bird?” Daichi laughs, causing Suga to blush. He turns around to hide the redness, and suddenly remembers what they need to do that day.

“We-we should get started on the experiment… you know, the one for the new toothpaste brand or something,” Suga says, still facing the wall.

“I don’t think studying the wall is going to help with that,” Daichi chuckles and turns to get the supplies ready.   
Suga instantly reddens more, but he can’t take refuge with the wall now so he hurries to help carry the supplies. 

They set up the experiment in silence, and as they start the experiments, Daichi smiles as a joke comes into his head. Perfect for lightening up the mood. 

“You know, you can never trust atoms because they make up everything,” Daichi says. Suga smiles as he pours some mixture into a beaker.

“Why do chemists like nitrates? Because they’re better than day rates,” Suga giggles as he shoots a pun back. 

“It’s on!” Daichi grins, “Gold walks into a bar, the bartender says, ‘AU get outta here!’” They both double in laughter at the amazingly bad chemistry jokes. 

They continue with their experiments through the pun contest, even though it will probably prove to be a bad decision. Suga notices this, but since he is making Daichi laugh, he can’t stop what he’s doing. The intensity of the pun battle increases until Suga is running out of puns. 

“Do you have 11 protons, because you’re sodium fine,” Suga blurts out, not realizing his pickup line until too late. His hands fly up to his mouth and Daichi is stunned silent for a second, but then continues with the experiment. Suddenly, Suga realizes another fatal mistake.

“Wait no! Don’t pour it!” He cries, but it’s too late. A puff of smoke arose from the beaker and Daichi turned around, the front half of his body covered in some black substance. 

“Hello. What have we done?” Daichi tries to remain serious, but starts to laugh again, with Suga joining in a bit after, pointing out the sharp line between the front and the back of Daichi.

Daichi seemed like he remembered something all of a sudden and became silent and serious looking. Scary.

“So about that pickup line…” he trails off.

“Uh, ye-yes?’ The grey haired scientist stuttered as Daichi corned him with a smirk.

“If I was an enzyme, I'd be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes.”

 

 

 

also have these _great_ pictures

  
  
(sugamama and dadchi for life)

**Author's Note:**

> i needed satire because i was writing too deep stuff lately but sorry the ending pun was just... bad
> 
> BUT thats because all the good puns argon
> 
> ok i'll show myself out


End file.
